Voila!

Woot woot! I finally finished my most recent cross-stitch project! I can't even remember when I started this particular project, but I was determined to finish it today. I didn't actually have that much stitching to finish, just some of the backstitching of the lettering and on the purple flowers. This is the finished project all mounted and with its hanger.
The close-up shot of what it says. I don't know what exactly I'm going to do with this yet. I may display it on one of my walls at home, or I may give it away as a gift. I'll have to think about that one . . .

A Big Thank-You

As you can imagine, the last week has been a difficult one. I spent Tuesday just sitting at home watching tv and trying to make sense of everything. My sister spent the day with my stepmom helping to get things organized for my dad's memorial service on Saturday. On Wednesday we were both with her, helping out and running errands. It helped to stay busy. Thursday was my last day off work. I went out for a while and tried to keep my mind off things to see if I could regain some "normalacy" in preparation for returning to work. It worked . . . mostly. Getting a sympathy card in the mail and seeing my dad's obituary was tough. Tougher than I thought it would be. Anyway, I returned to work on Friday and everyone was very sweet and supportive. My students, at least my morning students, had signed a card for me (I suspect they had help with their English as, even though they are high level students, the English in the card was word perfect). One of the students had also gotten a separate card for me, just from her. It was very, very touching. One of my coworkers gave me a card too. Everyone else told me how sorry they were and how happy they were to have me back. It's nice to know how loved I am! Anyway, I went out to a housewarming/candle party on Friday night. I wanted to be with friends. It was fun and it was nice for a couple of hours to feel "normal" again.

Saturday was the memorial service for my dad. It was nice to see how many people turned up. My grandparents came up from Oregon. My dad's old business partner came and spoke, as did some old family friends. My sister delivered the eulogy and she did a wonderful job. Her words captured my dad's life and spirit far better than the ones I attempted to write, so I'm glad I opted out of reading my letter to my dad. We received a lot of cards and flowers, so part of my afternoon was spent writing thank you cards to send to people.

I feel pretty okay now. I will always miss my dad, but because of the nature of his disease (Alzheimer's), I feel like I've been missing him for several years already. I am very glad that he's now in a place where he's not a prisoner of his mind anymore. My dad died relatively young (he was barely 65) and was in good health otherwise. Watching him waste away was so difficult. I am glad that I got to spend extra time with him in his last week. I don't wish that kind of life on anyone!

Sig Feuchter 1943 - 2008

Sig Feuchter, February 22, 1943 - March 10, 2008

My dad passed away on the evening of Monday, March 10th, 2008. He was 65 years old. Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease six years ago. Around the same time, he was was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma . . . cancer. That started what turned into a six year journey of watching the Alzheimer's eat away at the man who was my father. He was a good, strong man, but the disease turned him into a mere shell of what he was. Cancer, the disease that everyone fears, seemed like the "easy" part of the battle, though I know that I can probably only say that because I wasn't there on a day-to-day basis. This journey has been difficult for everone involved - my sister, my step-mom Barbara, my step-sister Roisin, and myself. Although I am very, very sad that my dad has gone, I do take some comfort in knowing that he's gone to a better place where he isn't suffering anymore and where he can be himself again. I love you dad! God bless you and may you rest in peace!

Um, yeah. I'm not having a very good year so far.

*Warning* This is NOT a happy or uplifting post in any way. If you don't want to get bummed out, stop reading here!

So I haven't been feeling too great lately. I've been crampier than usual and have been experiencing more than my fair share of back ache associated with the cramps. Normally I wouldn't be overly concerned as my period is usually fairly wonky, but since I was getting some strange coloured urine sometimes too (think tea coloured, and sometimes bloody), I was actually fairly concerned. After googling my symptoms (always a bit dangerous, and definitely NOT a good idea if you have a tendency to be a hypochondriac), I figured I might have a urinary tract infection. I ended up going to the doctor last Saturday. The doctor asked me about my symptoms and had me give a urine sample. He suspects I have a small kidney stone. Most of the time I feel fine and my urine is a normal yellow colour. Occasionally though my urine still looks funny and I get crampy and achey. Right now we're just keeping an eye on things (and I'm trying not to freak myself out when people who have had kidney stones and children tell me that passing a kidney stone is more painful than child birth! Personally I think these people should be telling pregnant women these things to make them feel better, but whatever!). Interestingly enough, the doctor that I saw at the clinic was my next-door neighbour about twenty years ago. He asked after the family, including my dad, who used to be his mechanic. Which leads me to . . .

My dad is dying. He's been in the hospital for years now (well, various hospitals and care facilities), but yesterday my step-mom called my sister and I to let us know that the doctors and nurses caring for him felt that his "departure was imminent." So yeah. Not fun. We went and spent the day with him, which was good. He didn't look too bad, all things considering. He's not eating anymore though, so I guess it really is just a matter of time. With my step-mom we talked about stuff like the funeral plans. What I am dreading most right now is the phone call telling me that it's over. How will I cope if I get the call at work? What will I do if the phone rings at 2 o'clock in the morning and wakes me up? I think my mind is focusing on this in order to have to focus on anything else. Surprisingly I had a fairly normal day today. I did have to tell a few people at work what was going on and it was okay. I was able to do it without crying, so that's something I guess. Some friends on facebook sent me messages too, so that was nice. For now I'm just trying to be very organized at work so that if I do have to leave suddenly, or I can't go in the next day, my sub has something for that day. The other couple of days I don't particularly care too much about. Now I'm going to try and find a particular picture of my dad that my step-mom would like to use for the memorial service. So if I'm not posting for a while, at least you know why.