I lied to my dog because the voices told me to

I think what you have to do is self-explanatory ;-)

The month you were born:
January-----------i married
Febuary-----------I did
March--------------i played with
April--------------- i ate
May----------------i spanked
June---------------i kissed
July----------------i killed
August------------i lied to
September-------i choked
October---------- i slapped
November------- i watched
December--------i stole from-

DAY [NUMBER] YOU WERE B0RN 0N =]
1-------a spork
2-------my friends pants
3------- myself
4-------a mexican
5-------a hobo
6------- p diddy
7-------my best friends boyfriend/girlfriend
8------- my dog
9-------a lawn gnome
10-------a banana
11-------a monkey
12-------an ipod
13-------my neighbor
14-------a sandwich
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------bigfoot
18-------a spoon
19-------my sister
20-------a football player
21-------a ninja
22-------a fireman
23-------your mom
24-------a gangster
25-------1000 people
26-------a noodle
27-------an alien
28-------my true love
29-------my science teacher
30-------a squirrel
31-------my uncle-

C0L0R OF Y0UR SHiRT ;]
White------- Because i keep it gangsta
Black--------Because im sexy and i do what i want.
Pink---------Because im in love
Red----------Because thats how i roll
Blue----------Because the voices told me to.
Green--------Because I hate myself.
Purple--------Because i can
Gray---------- Because dat thang took my taco.
Yellow--------Because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange----Because i hate my family.
Other-------Because i was high
maroon-----Because i was drunk.
teal-----cuz they were illegal
Brown-----Because im emo
Caramel----cuz Charlie told me too.
Striped------cuz ur mom said so
black..pink----Because i am kool like that
bra-----cuz im to kool for tv
bathing suit----- cuz im so sexy and i freak like no other