Geeky Post

This post marks a "first" for me . . . it's my first post using the Mozilla Firefox browser! Hopefully all of you reading this won't notice any difference ;-) Over the past couple of years many people have suggested that I try this browser but I always resisted. I figured that Internet Explorer was good enough for me. To a degree, I still think that. My school uses an online database for things like our progress reports and attendance records. In the last couple of months every time I tried to sit down at home and open the database website, I would get rerouted to the homepage of the school. A coworker recently experienced the same problem and told me this morning that after she downloaded Firefox she didn't have any more problems. Lo and behold - same thing when I downloaded Firefox at home! Unfortunately because my program uses a different version of the database that hasn't been finished yet, I'm still not really able to use it at home, but at least now I can access it! I've also discovered that Firefox is fun to play with, but I think I will still continue to use Internet Explorer as my primary web browser.

And the number one show on the planet is . . .

. . . CSI: Miami! I'm not even joking. I was reading this article in my TV Week magazine about CSI: Miami and at the end of the article was a mini-article about the top 10 shows on the planet, according to the research firm Informa Telecoms and Media. Here's the complete top-ten list:

1. CSI: Miami
2. Lost
3. Desperate Housewives
4. Te Voy a Ensenar a Querer (I Will Teach You to Love)
5. The Simpsons
6. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
7. Without a Trace
8. Inocente de Ti (Innocent of You)
9. Anita, No Te Rajes! (Anita, Don't Give Up!)
10. The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

5 Things

Here are 5 things you don't know about me (which I stole from here):

1. I can sing/rap the entire theme song to The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. What can I say? It's one of those songs that really sticks in your head!

2. I talk to myself. A lot. And I have been known to answer myself sometimes too. It's the way I organize my thoughts.

3. Right now I have a Barry Manilow song stuck in my head: "Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl . . ."

4. I love men with British accents! Let me reiterate: I LOVE men with British accents! Hugh Laurie, Hugh Grant, Patrick Stewart, Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, Clive Owen, Daniel Craig, John Hannah . . . the list goes on.

5. Although all my teacher training was with young children (five and six year olds), I discovered that I love teaching teenagers. They drive me crazy sometimes, but connecting with them is really worthwhile.

It's your turn! What don't I know about you?

My Dad

For some reason I feel compelled to write this post tonight. I don't talk much about my dad since it's difficult to talk about his current circumstances. You see, my dad isn't the same man I knew as I was growing up. He lives in a hospital now, suffering from Alzheimer's disease. As part of the disease, he doesn't really talk anymore and doesn't walk either. I don't think he recognizes me when I visit either, so it's hard to make those visits.

Anyway, usually I confine my thinking about my dad to early in the mornings when I'm walking to work. It's a quiet time when I can be alone with my thoughts. Since I walk to work in the morning, the fresh air and exercise reminds me that I can't dwell on any thoughts for too long as I only have a twenty minute walk. Usually I feel like it's the only time I can really allow myself to feel what I'm feeling. I try not to let my emotions show too much with my friends or other family members. I don't really know why. I feel like I have to carry this burden myself and be strong for others. My mom and dad divorced a long time ago, and even though my mom probably would understand a little bit of how I feel (her own mother had Alzheimer's disease), it's different for her since she lived in a completely different country from her mother and didn't see the daily/weekly/monthly progression of the disease. I guess I also think that it's not fair to make my mom listen to the feelings I have about a man she divorced and doesn't love anymore? After all, she is remarried now. I don't often share my thoughts with my sister either. She has her husband now to share her feelings with, and I kinda feel like I don't belong in that family group anymore. I definitely don't feel like I can share my feelings with my stepmother because she already assumes so much of the burden of taking care of my dad. She visits him daily and helps to feed him and attends his care conferences. I don't want to add to her burden by sharing how I feel. My friends know about my dad, but I can't talk to them about my feelings either since I hate to show any kind of weakness or strong emotions in front of them. I usually take the role of "caretaker" and advice giver in my circle of friends and it's hard to picture myself taking the opposite role.

Anyway, today during my third class my students were listening to a song by Beyonce called "Listen". The song kinda reminds me of some of Whitmey Houston's songs, and that made me think of the movie "The Preacher's Wife". Then I remembered that when I went to see that movie with a friend, my dad was in the same theatre watching the movie too and we ran into each other on the way out! It was such a random, chance meeting and it was really special since we only got to see our dad on weekends after my parents got divorced.

I thought of my dad again during my lunch break as another teacher and I were talking about our skiing experiences and I remarked that both my parents enjoyed skiing when they were younger. That reminded me of a picture I have of a ski trip we took one year to Big White. My sister and I are on a tobaggon with my dad. He looks so young - he has hair! It's brown. He even has facial hair. (ALTHOUGH YOU WOULDN'T HAVE NOTICED THE ABSENCE, BLOGGERS, I'VE HAD TO STEP AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER FOR 15 MINUTES AS I WAS CRYING TOO HARD TO CONTINUE TYPING. I THINK I'LL BE OKAY TO CONTINUE NOW.) Now I'm remembering that one Christmas Eve, before my dad married my stepmom, we had Christmas Eve dinner at my dad's place. He lived in a converted "apartment" above the mechanic's shop he owned (it wasn't zoned to be an apartment, so it was very cold and made of concrete). We had fondue and went to Church. We decorated his place with candy canes. I also remember my dad taking me to Star Trek conventions, including two in Seattle! I remember being in a campground with my parents when I was really young and my dad taking me by the hand and walking me to the bathroom. I came out of the girl's washroom and turned in the wrong direction and got lost. I remember my dad and sister going out skiing and walking the Sun Run together one year. I wish I had gone too. My parent's came to my grad dinner dance and I got to dance with my dad . . .

You know Bindi Irwin, that cute little daughter of the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin? Ever since he died, I can't watch little Bindi on tv. Every time I see her, I just cry. It's like that with the Amanda Bynes/Colin Firth movie "What a Girl Wants" too. Each time Amanda Bynes's character Daphne talks about not being able to dance the traditional father-daughter dance at her wedding, I think about how I'm never going to be able to do that either. It makes me cry every time. Then, at the end of the movie, when (for those of you who haven't seen it, I won't spoil it for you) we discover the happy ending, I cry even harder 'cause that's not going to be me.

I hate this disease! I hate that I'll never be able to walk down the aisle at my wedding on my father's arm. I hate that I'll never be able to dance with my dad. I hate that he won't be able to hold his future grandchildren in his arms. I FUCKING HATE IT! It's so bloody unfair! I know the politically correct thing to say is something along the lines of "I just count my blessings that I had a good father growing up. I'm so much luckier than all those people who didn't have a father, or who had abusive fathers." Even though that's true, that's not how I feel! I want my father back! I feel like Alzheimer's disease is a long, long, long period of mourning for the death of a person you used to know. At least when a person dies you can mourn and then get on with your life. With Alzheimer's disease, the person you love is gone, but their body is still there. Honestly, it's like living in purgatory.

Two

Seen this on several blogs recently, but stole it from Vesper!

Two names you go by:
1.. Kim
2.. Teacher


Two parts of your heritage:
1.. German
2.. Prussian


Two things that scare you:
1.. Heights
2.. Being told by my strata council that I am responsible for paying a special levy that totals thousands of dollars that I don't have!


Two everyday essentials:
1.. Attendance/Marks book
2.. A good book to read


Two things you are wearing right now:
1.. Woollen socks
2.. Jeans

Two of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1.. Rascal Flatts
2.. Avril Lavigne

Two things you want in a relationship (other than love):
1.. lots of laughs
2.. respect

Two truths:
1.. I am a worrier (but I've gotten a lot better over the years!)
2.. I am a wee bit messy (okay, maybe take out the wee bit part!)

Two favorite hobbies:
1.. Surfing the internet
2.. Reading

Two things you need to do this week:
1.. Finish my progress reports!
2.. Clean my bathroom

Two stores you shop at:
1.. Chapters
2.. Payless

Two favorite sports:
1.. Hockey
2.. Volleyball


Two shows you like to watch:
1.. House
2.. Ugly Betty (I just started watching this show and it's awesome!)

Two things you’d buy if money were no object:
1.. First and foremost I'd pay off my students loan and my mortgage
2.. A piano and organ. I know how to play the organ, but I want to learn the piano!

Two wishes for 2007:
1.. A house-elf to do my cleaning for me
2.. More 3-day weekends!
(I made silly wishes on purpose! I'm in a silly mood!)

The obligatory "Happy New Year!" post

Happy New Year!

Now that's out of the way . . . let me tell you what I did tonight. Normally I don't really do anything for New Year's since to me it's just another day. Today was going to be more of the same, and if I was still awake at midnight, maybe I'd say happy new year to myself. That all changed at 4pm this afternoon however. My best friend called me to tell me that her asshole boyfriend had bailed on her at the last minute. She was pretty upset with him; they were supposed to go out to a function and he opted to go out with his friends instead. They have been going out for nine years and are on the verge of getting married (more on what I think about that at a later date). Because of how late he ended up calling to cancel on her, she couldn't get tickets to go out with some of her friends from work, so she called me. I had already told her I wasn't doing anything, so I invited her over to my place for dinner and Nintendo. We ended up having a really good evening! We went to White Spot for dinner. During dinner she said she wanted to see "Blood Diamond" with Leonardo DiCaprio. Since I wanted to see it to, I said "let's do it!" We drove over to the nearest theatre afterwards to discover that it was starting in 10 minutes. We never experience such awesome timing, so in we went (good movie, but very violent! Leo was really, really good in it. It's hard to believe he was once the "king of the world!"). After the movie we went back to my place and played Mario Party on my gamecube. The game finished about 5 minutes before midnight so we turned on the tv and watched the ball drop in Times Square. Then, because the First Night celebrations were happening at my local mall, the office tower of which I can see from my windows, we watched the fireworks (Jennifer, we had an awesome view! I told you I face the right direction!). Then we chatted for a while about the asshole boyfriend, then she went home (we weren't drinking so don't worry, no drinking and driving happening on our part tonight!) As a bonus, I spent close to an hour cleaning my apartment while she drove over from Vancouver, so the tidying I thought I wouldn't end up doing over my vacation did kind of get done! Sweet! Now, since I'm so awake still, I'm going to go to bed and watch an episode of "House" on DVD. Tomorrow is my last morning to sleep in before I go back to work on Tuesday :-(